The Forgiving Self and how it Directly Relates to A Separate Peace

Introduction

Jealousy is one of the attributes which human beings tend to face on their daily basis. This is the act of having insecurity concern and anxiety due to experiencing a loss. Most people therefore tend to become jealous of other people, simply because other people can be able to achieve what they cannot be able to achieve. This therefore leads to a strong feeling of hatred which tends to affect someone, hence rendering the person a victim of his or herself. In addition, the victims of jealous tend to be very bitter towards successful people, and they may therefore develop a feeling of hatred towards them. In addition, this may also result in physical harm, particularly when the victim reacts after a small argument with the successful person. This paper is therefore going to analyze the novel, ‘The Forgiving Self’ and ‘A Separate Peace’, in a bid to explain how both novels directly relate to each other.

Karen believes that jealousy leads to victimization whereby the doer of the action becomes the victim of jealousy. Those who have inner conflicts tend to be jealous of those who have inner peace, since inner conflict leads to jealousy while inner peace does not (Karen, 45). Those with inner conflicts therefore tend to see others as being very successful, hence developing hatred and bitterness towards such kind of people. Jealous people have not therefore accepted themselves, thus they tend to think that whatever happens to other people cannot happen to them, hence leading to hatred and dislike towards those who have inner peace. For instance, Gene hates his best friend Finny, simply because Finny relates with other people very well, thus making him to be able to achieve more as compared to Gene. This therefore leads to hatred, whereby Gene hates Finny (Knowles, 27). Finny does not therefore know if he best friend Gene hates him, and he therefore believes that Gene is still his best friend.

Karen also believes that in order for one not to be jealous of other peoples’ success, he or she needs to reconcile with his or her inner self. This consequently allows the person to value himself or herself, and thus being able to work hard in order to be able to achieve what he or she thinks is hard to achieve. In order for this process to be successful, one should therefore accept him or herself the way he or she is, thus being able to forge forward and avoid any obstacles which are likely to come his or her way. In addition, one cannot be able to stop being jealous through asking for forgiveness, but instead the person needs to change his or her perception (Karen, 45). This consequently allows the person to be able to view others equally as the self, and thus being able to achieve his or her goals. For instance, Gene could not cry at Finny’s burial, even though he was his friend, simply because of how he was feeling guilty. Guilt consequently affects the victims of jealousy, thus making it hard for them to be able to perceive themselves as being better as compared to others (Knowles, 27). On the other hand, Jealousy also translates into violence, depending on the situation at hand. A good example is when Gene pushed Finny from the tree and he fell.

Finny fell off the tree and he was badly injured, thus showing how being jealous makes on to be very bitter, thus indulging in physical harm (Knowles, 29). The same applies in real life situations, whereby those who are jealous of you will always come up with ways of making sure that you do not make it in life. They may therefore come up with different issues in a bid to paint a dark picture of you. This may include gossiping and creating stories which do not make sense in order to make sure that everyone gets to hate you. This was what Gene was doing, in order to paint a dark picture of Finny, thus being able to look smarter as compared to Finny (Karen, 46). Finny could therefore be blamed for something he had nothing to do with, and this really made Gene very happy.

Karen believes that jealous people tend to blame others, and saying that they are the reason as to why they cannot make it (Knowles, 29). In addition, since jealous people do not have inner peace, they tend to blame others for not being able to achieve certain levels of hatred between them and their friends. They therefore hate their friends simply because they feel they are the ones who are making them not to make it in life (Karen, 48). In the end, this consequently leads to insecurities and anxiety in relationships, thus making the two friends not to be able to relate with each other peacefully.

            Gene consequently blames Finny for everything thus making him to really hate Finny. Finny does not always fight with other people, and he therefore relates with other people peacefully thus making other people to love him (Knowles, 31). Gene does exactly the opposite of what Finny does, and he therefore expects people to love him the same way they do with Finny. This consequently leads to blame, whereby Gene feels Finny is the reason as to why people are not attracted to her as they are attracted to Finny. Gene therefore hates Finny, when it is actually his own mistake that people are not attracted to him at all. This therefore explains why jealous people often blame others due to their actions. In addition, Gene has a feeling that he cannot be as good as Finny, thus limiting himself from achieving certain goals, and instead hating Finny (Karen, 48). Their friendship is not therefore bound to last for a long period of time, since Gene will always blame Finny for his failure and thus leading to hatred which leads to violence in the relationship.

            Karen believes that Gene is the victim in this case, even though Finny seems to be the victim of hatred. Gene admires each and everything which Finny does, thus making himself a victim since he cannot be able to be as good as his Finny is (Knowles, 30). This therefore makes Gene to always try as much as possible to fit into Finny’s situation, and in as much as he does so, he cannot be able to make it. This consequently makes Gene a victim since he cannot be able to come up with his own approaches thus being able to avoid fighting and not relating with other people peacefully. In addition, it reaches a point whereby Gene wishes he was Finny, since Finny’s character is attractive. Gene cannot therefore be able to lead a peaceful life, since he is trying to compete with Finny, and as he does so, he duplicates Finny’s behavior a thing which does not work very well as he expected (Karen, 49). When his approaches become unwanted, he tends to hate Finny, since he cannot be as good as Finny is, thus resolving to hate Finny. In the end due to the bitterness and anger that Gene has towards Finny, he decides to push him off the tree, where Finny falls breaking his leg. The Victim, who is Gene shows his hatred and bitterness towards Finny as he pushes him off the tree.

            Gene keeps jouncing simply because he does not have inner peace, and he is consequently experiencing inner conflicts. This therefore makes him to devalue himself, thus he feels Finny is good as compared to him. Gene cannot therefore appreciate the way he is, thus hating on Finny, simply because he is not as good as Finny is (Karen, 47). Moreover, Gene has not been able to achieve what Finny has been able to achieve thus leading to hatred, anxiety and insecurity in the relationship. Gene is therefore supposed to love himself the way he is thus being able to avoid the obstacles that he is currently facing in his life (Knowles, 32).

Conclusion

            Jealousy is one of the things which consequently leads to violence and hatred between people in a relationship. This is so because when one feels that he cannot be able to achieve what another person has been able to achieve, then this translates to hatred. The one who is being jealous becomes a victim of his own, simply because he or she cannot be able to make inner peace with himself or herself. As jealousy grows, it matures into blame whereby the victim starts blaming others for not being able to achieve certain goals. Victims cannot therefore be able to continue with the relationship since they tend to have a feeling of hatred which may result in violence.

Work Cited

            Karen, Robert. The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection. New York: Anchor Books, 2011. Internet resource.

            Knowles, John. A Separate Peace, John Knowles. , 2014. Internet resource.