My experience from meditation practice

Meditation is a practice where one achieves and balances the mental, physical, emotional aspects of their existence.

1. Karma

This concept describes any kind of physical or mental inactivity. Moreover the concept deals with the results of each action. It can be understood easier through the law found in the bible which calls for an eye for an eye. This means that one must be ready to finally receive any that they force onto other people in their future life.  There are three kinds of karma the first one being all acts that are carried in all lives, the second is all the actions of the current life and the third type is the acts being performed at the moment (Stump,2008).

1. Swadharma

This refers to the obligation borne by the spirit that it has to follow dharma. Whereas dharma refers to the rules and guidelines to be followed, Swadharma involves the need for that spirit to follow those particular rules and guidelines. The concept is majorly related to humane principles and various natural feelings like maternal and fraternal tendencies. Every spirit will attain different level of Swadharma individually. Then this level is the one to determine the individuals dharma and be increased by way of meditation or can be reduced by lack of meditation (Stump, 2008).

• Dharma

This concept relates to the correct way of how one can live their life and thus receive good karma. The concept not only involves itself with physical and mental actions against other spirits but also concerns itself with one’s ability to obtain enlightenment and be united with a supreme being. This can be found to be true to all types of religions’ followers who have a claim which holds that one’s good deeds alone will not be enough to assure them of immortality(Stump,2008)..

1. Manah

This relates to the mind but not the whole mind. It refers to the portion of the mind that usually takes sensory signals from other parts of the body. This includes the scientific notion of sensory perception and the philosophical ability of the mind to take signals from the spirit (Stump, 2008).

1. Buddhi

This is the Sanskrit word for intelligence. It refers to the conscious ability for to be able to comprehend the ideas that one is taught. It also involves the ability to think critically in situations and the ability to apply reason when coming up with important decisions. This overall intelligence is known as ones Buddhi (Stump, 2008).

1. Samskara

This concept basically refers to ones memories. It illustrates that every action that a person does whether good or bad results to a created impression that is stored in their mind. Their negative impressions have to be cleansed so as to be assured of obtaining immortality. A part from acting as a moral protection tool, the concept involves also motherly and brotherly instincts (Stump, 2008).

• Vasana

This concept deals with the lack of interest with anything in the present life. It requires that one should do away with anything that they find joyous in the current mortal life so as to have a better preparation of the afterlife. This includes distancing oneself from material possessions, good feelings and from enjoying any emotional act or response.

When one’s mind holds impressions of their actions or their memories – as in Samskara – they are put in groups based on their similarities. These groups are known as Vasana. These groups are normally unconscious and have to be brought back through keen focus during meditation. But the bundles, though they may be trapped in the unconscious, they are active.  For instance, one may be stirred to do another group of actions since they had a positive impact in the past. Apart from functioning as continually referenced set of emotions, they also control how experience and maturity develop (Stump, 2008).

• Kriya

This refers to the real exercises and practices of the techniques that are found in Yoga. It consists of the actual and right physical emotions involved in Yoga and also correcting the incorrect technique and the skill that is involved in doing every movement. The emotions are aimed at having a purifying on one’s body in small quantities. When one performs the motions, they will attain higher levels of metaphysical awareness and an increased logic of purpose or of one being (Stump, 2008).

1. Viveka.

It has a direct relation with one’s ability to notice that there is a difference between reality and a part of life that is unrealistic or full of fantasy. It does not only involves itself with the knowledge of difference between real life and fantasy, it also consists of the knowledge between the temporary facets of life and permanent aspects of the present life and after life.  When one is applying this concept, they will have to remember that to continually differentiate between reality and fake and use proper reaction according to what they have discovered(Stump,2008)..

When I started my meditation, I felt that I could not manage to continue with it for a long time.  Contrary to what I expected, I felt a lot of emotional turmoil than I experienced before I started the process. It seemed as if my attempts to handle any moment of the process or event would stir a wave of discomfort or a rush of euphoria, the result of which there was no fun. Though I have always perceived myself to be sensitive emotionally, the feeling this time round was ridiculous. At that time the reason behind for these intense emotions was not at all apparent until I got an understanding of the process of meditation. As I got used to meditation the experience started feeling great. I started feeling as if I was applying and getting an understanding of the concepts like relaxation, and seeing what is present without, preconceived ideals. I noted that I had not been paying much attention and it really struck me with a surprise and I got to know that paying attention was important. I knew that there was progress as time passed by when I found out that overthinking was hindering me from paying attention. One may think he knows what is factually right, but that usually is not the experience. The other aspect I started experiencing was deep and had far reaching results.

Most of the days in the term, I would sit put a cushion on the floor and sit on it  and with my eyes closed and focus my attention on any sensational feelings on my body whether pleasant or faithful and then try my best to stay detached from the sensations. If any part of my body is in pain, I would focus my attention on the aching part and try to feel the pain without first labelling it good or bad. In the moments that I sensed clarity, thoughts and judgements concerning that pain reduced and almost to the point where I could refer to that pain as just a mere sensation. Even where that wasn’t the aim, the pain would many a times reduce after a short while. Since I was aiming at increasing the awareness of those emotions, it appeared natural that those physical sensations that include emotions ranging from anxiety, sadness and even depression would come out strongly than before. Sometimes though when I encountered some normal misfortunes or bad lack, the situation would trigger a bad emotion and being now more sensitive to this emotion, meditation seemed to make the situation worse instead of enhancing the whole sense of wellbeing.  In real sense there was no change in emotions but the way I experienced them changed dramatically. The more I performed the meditation action the more my knowledge about the practice increased and I often realised that this practice is not meant to remove the negative emotions from my mind, but rather  but its aim is to help me come up with a better judgement about them. I have noticed that am supposed to stop resisting pain and that I was suffering because my mind has labelled my pain as bad and not because it is bad in itself.

I have found myself liking a medication retreat especially one that takes between 10 to 15 days during the term. In such a time I have come to experience something remarkable. I would be seated partially on a bench or kneeling partially in the meditation room with my fellow meditators. At that moment I am performing breathing techniques, that is anapana and concentrating on my body to perceive sensations, that is, vipassana.  Immediately after this session, my whole mind would become very sharp, more than I mostly feel in my life.  Then I would find myself in having a total control of a lucid mind that is concentrated. Then I became more aware of the feeling of mental clarity. I compare that to how I can imagine the feeling of waking up in between my dreams and take control of them totally. Then I direct all of my attention away from my body to an unplanned thought. Then I would draw my attention back and continue with the process for some time deliberately. It felt very different from what I had experienced when I was performing the meditation seats or during normal life. That is, many random thoughts flowing in my mind and preventing any moment of concentration. More importantly as I was doing the meditation sit, I once visualised in my mind and in my mind’s vision a glass plane, and I as I put my focus it, the glass seemed to crack, and it seemed as if just putting my thoughts on the window caused it to crack like the way some cracks appears when a bulletproof glass is stricken by a bullet. When a humming started playing on the audio speakers in the hall to indicate that the session had ended, a feeling of sadness crept in. The following sits, I would welcome the speakers humming sound to signal session end with relief, bring to an end sessions of more than 60 minutes in a still posture, with my kneels hurting, and with back ache. But that particular day, I felt that I was heading somewhere and that my mind was clear, sharp as ever and a feeling of total relaxation filled my body.

The experience has helped me have a very active mind in my works. I have always found myself living in imaginations and having an analysis the world around me. I have often found myself daydreaming to fall sound asleep, whether I am running, listening to music ,doing the dishes, in a shower. If am not working actively at something my mind is always wandering. It took me time to manage a prolonged time of meditation and to develop regular application of meditation in my daily life. Whenever I came across circumstances that disturbed my meditation practice especially something that I had to grief over or that made me to be sad, I was unable to gain back the control of my thoughts although sometime I have not been caring to try. In this case, I felt I had an excuse for not trying out since at the time of such mental disturbance I did not want to associate my mental discipline with my emotional heart. But such an experience has taught me that there is a need to integrate meditation into this life in a real way. After realising that, I embarked on performing meditational acts regularly at whatever conditions, and then associate the meditation with my spirituality and this seemed to make it easier for me. Generally, I have noticed that allowing myself to focus on a single thing has really helped more than anything else.  I have been choosing things such as a recorded voice playing humming on a speaker, a crystal, the ground below me, a tree or a poll that I have been leaning on. I have come to find out that placing my attention to a single object keeps my ‘monkey mind’ active and occupied and still. But this has sometimes been a limiting kind of meditation for me since it fixes my mind to a single focus, and thus blocking a trance or any other kind of separate mental exploration. However, a type of focus practice that has been working for me well is the control of my breath 4 – counts –inhalation and 4-counts- exhalation and then fixing my concentration on a particular body parts, applying tension and then relaxing the those parts  until I am able to reach my mind. I noticed that from that status of relaxation, I was able to easily dissociate from my body.

This physical meditation really helped me to develop a very strong practice, the one of realising a feeling of two different powers in my body and reaching out to them by focusing my concentration on the sensation. After the relaxation of my body, I draw the outside power and I would feel it flowing in my body, producing a healing effect and raw energy that now takes the place of the physical tension I had relaxed away. It has always felt like am drawing the sky power, and lighting up the power from the ground and electrifying my entire relaxed body. While it is difficult to put this sensation into words, I can imagine the feeling in my body, I ground and centre all my energy. To say the least over my course, I have been able to learn to integrate my meditation with my practical life so that to overcome the emotion upheavals. Overtime I have found out that connecting this meditation with the activities I do regularly made it possible for me to turn an ongoing practice into a routine. I have personally understood the various powers and realised how my daily work and spirituality are both under the influence of these powers.

Looking back before I started out on the meditation practice, I had no real formal background of formal practice but I was meditating informally and sporadically for some time. So I really started out on this course without having little knowledge about I was venturing into about with a lot of motivation to learn much more. This was made possible by associating with my instructor and my fellow students who though mostly being new to meditation, most had were deeply spiritual and were from diverse backgrounds. But the surprise was on me when I learnt that the goal of meditation was to be productive and successful. But at the end of each learning experience, it became clear that the philosophical belief of Buddhism is all about salvation coming from self-mastery. To be able to do this one need to be extremely disciplined, focused and withstand a vigorous training of their mind. By so doing their will have a brash with success, whose definition is being liberated from suffering and having a life that consist of true peace, harmony and happiness (Altobello, 2009). But I experienced some challenges, like physical pain in the early days of performing meditation exercise and practice which seemed to overshadow the things that I tried to focus on like breathing. The other challenge I encountered was mental and emotional isolation, especially while I was trying out walking meditation.

Contrary to my previous believe I have learnt that meditation is not making the mind go blank or to make one stop thinking but it’s all about placing ones concentration on a single problem of thought and looking for a solution to attain a better understanding of that particular thought. I have also found out that sitting down and expecting an enlightenment may lead to frustration or confusion instead of causing peace and relaxation of the body. That follower of this mental practice must have high self -acceptance, that accepting their sensations, thoughts and the entire mind so as to experience the fore stated peace but failure to do this will result to self-rejection and rebellion against oneself (Cvetkovic, & Cosic, 2011).

Meditation has been about loving myself unconditionally and by so doing I found it easy expressing the same love to others. I became familiar with positive emotional states such as compassion and serenity in a way that these states have become a normal way of life. Many times I have tried to have correct understanding of how something is which has made me to reach ‘vipashyana’ finally and perceive the ultimate appearance and origin of a thing.

The entire process of meditation started with a personal understanding where I get in touch with my real self and try to free my ego. I was able to calm and internalize my energy (qi) and thus calm my mind, spirit and my entire body. I desired to attain a state of peace so that I could become a thoughtful person not only towards myself but to others. I had to involve myself with a spiritual training in order to gain of the self-control. The more I understood more about religion, the more I was convinced of how Confucianism is connected to my soul and my spirituality. I had before hesitated to let my experience lead me to adopt Confucius principle.  I learnt that it is wrong to lack a sense of religion and this intensified a spiritual need that was mystical and hard to understand. Apart from myself there are other things to meditate about daily that touched on virtue such as the need to be faithful in the services I offer, be sincere to friends and this was the basis of self –examination.

Sometimes at the end of a busy day, I would briefly read Daoist invocations, and then sit motionless for about an hour when I would notice that my mind would get filled with fleeting thoughts of the events in my life. I would let them come up, hang around and then I would watch them as they went back to hollowness from which they came from. I felt I was directing my body and mind to a great experience of deep rest. At the end of an exhausting day, engaging in Daoism would benefit me by restoring my energy and enlighten my mind. To reach the state inner silence I had to allow in a systematic process of forgetting, and slowly forgetting noises from outside my body and those from inside more so my words.  Thus I would be able to forget the happenings of the day, the surroundings and my commitments

 

References

Stump, R. W. (2008). The geography of religion: Faith, place, and space. Lanham, Md: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers. 46-48

Altobello, R. (2009). Meditation from Buddhist, Hindu, and Taoist perspectives. New York: Peter Lang. 1. 45-46

Cvetkovic, D., & Cosic, I. (2011). States of consciousness: Experimental insights into meditation, waking, sleep and dreams. New York: Springer.223-224