Dysfunctional Cross-Generalization Coalition

In order for families to manage conflicts, a neutral party must be included, thus allowing both parties to understand the cause of the issue, and how to deal with the issue. However, the third party might not always be neutral, thus taking sides with the side which favors him or her. Cross-generalization is consequently portrayed by bringing in a third party, to act as the judge (Anderson & Sabatelli, 2011). In most families, a child is usually the third party, whereby in case of a conflict between the parents, the child will be able to distinguish between the two parents who was right and who was wrong. 

A child may either end the conflict through pointing out the mistake, and who made it. Nonetheless, if the blamed party does not accept the mistake, the child may give up and instead walk away. In other instances, a child may be forced to be partisan with a certain party, due to the privileges which he or she will enjoy after the incident. Cross-generalization is therefore not healthy for the family, as it might affect the relationship between a child and the parents, because the child might be forced to be partisan, thus affecting the judgment, a move which leads to hatred from one parent (Childress, 2014).

The following is a script between a father, a daughter, and a mother, which represents a cross-generalization coalition that leads to hatred.

 

Mum and bad talking        

Mum: Honey, would you please change the baby’s diaper.

Dad: Okay, just give me a minute.

Mum: And make sure you do it right.

Dad: Okay, whatever.

 

Mum and daughter talking 

Mum: Sweetheart, would you please turn off the radio.

Daughter: Okay, mum.

Mum: Good, now go back to your bedroom and spread your bed.

Daughter: But mum, you have not given me the bed sheet I asked for.

Mum: Sorry, go and pick it from my bedroom.

 

Mum and dad talking

Mum: Honey, are you done with the diaper?

Dad: (silently, shaking the head) 

Mum: Honey, can’t you hear me?

Dad: I said am not yet done.

Mum: Honey, please do it.

Dad: I will do it when I feel like.

Mum: But honey, we are supposed to leave in an hour’s time.

Dad: For god sake I know. 

Mum: Then do it.

Dad: As I said, I will do it when I feel like.

 

Daughter and dad talking

Daughter: Daddy, come and help me spread my bed.

Dad: Okay sweetheart, I am coming.

Daughter: Mum is lazy, she does not want to do anything.

Dad: (helping the daughter spread the bed) Just live her alone.

 

Mum and dad talking

Mum: (Furiously) Honey, what is up with you?

Dad: Nothing.

Mum: When are you planning to change the baby’s diaper?

Dad: As far as I am concerned, not anytime soon.

Mum: How stupid and childish can you be?

Dad:  Did you just insult me?

Mum: No. I didn’t, because that is what you are.

Dad: Why did you marry me if I am stupid?

Mum: When I married you, you were not stupid.

 

Mum and Daughter talking

Daughter: Mum for god’s sake, watch your mouth.

Mum: Shut up, you stupid loser.

Daughter: You are very lazy.

Mum: Not as much as your dad.         

Daughter: Cut it mum, you just want to boss around doing nothing, who are you?

Mum: Sweetheart I will tear you apart.

 

Reference

Anderson, S. A., & Sabatelli, R. M. (2011). Family interaction: A multigenerational developmental perspective (5th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Childress, C. (2014). Therapy: Cross-Generational Parent-Child Coalition. Retrieved from http://drcraigchildressblog.com/2014/07/08/therapy-cross-generational-parent-child-coalition/