Role of forgiveness within conflicts
Forgiveness is an intentional process whereby an individual who is most times the victim changes their feeling regarding a particular offense. It is a process where the victim overcomes negative emotions such as revenge and resentment. It is also regarded as a deliberate decision to change feelings of resentment towards an individual or people who have caused harm to another person. Forgiveness is the decision and act of letting go of an offender regardless of them deserving to be forgiven or not.
For a conflict to be resolved completely, forgiveness has to take place. Forgiveness is a process that does not happen immediately and some people may not be willing to apologize to be forgiven (GIORGIA 1). Therefore it is important to have the will or ability to forgive, with or without an apology to be able to resolve a conflict. It may be conceived like forgiving a person you conflict with is not important but it helps to put the issue behind them and move forward with their lives. Forgiveness plays an important role in conflict resolution when the parties agree that the conflict is the result of a lack of interaction between them. Hence both parties have a role in mending the relationship which reconstructs their identities and this results in both of them restoring humanity. Forgiveness is a very important virtue that has led to the resolution of many conflicts including intimate relationships. Forgiveness enables people to live better, healthier, and act freely again instead of living with anger and acting out of pain and bitterness.
Despite forgiveness playing the role of conflict resolution, there have been misconceptions about it and this includes forgiveness means forgetting (Maalouf 7). Forgiving a person does not mean that you forget whatever they did to you or whatever happened. It is also said that not forgetting will help a person avoid a repetition of what caused the pain. Another misconception is, forgiveness means that you cannot have a conversation about the incident again. On the contrary, talking about the incident helps with the whole forgiveness and healing process. It is so unrealistic to say that if you have forgiven the person who hurt you, you should not talk about it. Another misconception is that if I forgive, I have to reconcile with the person or retain the relationship. In a relationship, when a person is harmed and decides to distance themselves from that person who harmed them, forgiving them does not mean that they have to go back together. You don’t have to get back to a relationship because you forgave someone, you can forgive and still choose to move on with your life. It is also believed that forgiveness means tolerating bad behavior. Forgiving a person does not mean that you tolerate the behavior that harmed you because forgiveness is protecting yourself from being hurt.
Forgiveness is a process of letting go and changing negative feelings towards a person that caused you harm. It plays an important role in conflict resolution helping people to move on with their lives. Forgiveness helps people live free and healthier lives which are without bitterness and anger. Despite forgiveness having some misconceptions, it does not change what happened to you and is part of your healing process and also is a personal decision. It helps you put the past behind and continue with life happily.
Works Cited
GIORGIA PALEARI, E., Camillo Regalia, and Frank D. Fincham. "Forgiveness and conflict
resolution in close relationships: Within and cross partner effects." Universitas Psychologica 9.1 (2010): 35-56.
Maalouf, Jean. The Healing Power of Forgiveness. Mystic, CT: Twenty-Third Publications,
- Print.
